


What's The Haps?

by elijahking (orphan_account)



Series: Ghosting [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Puns, Body Dysphoria, Cute, Fabulous, Some sad bits, Spoilers, Trans Mettaton, good feels, is that their name? madstablook? is now, mostly a happy fic, sans and papyrus make an appearance, this is just the best thing, uh if you can call it that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-27 17:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5056846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/elijahking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ghost went through life knowing it'd never find a body it'd be happy in. It's a working title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear Diary,

**Author's Note:**

> I, uh, have! Severe dysphoria! so I kind of identified with Hapst/MTT when reading the diaries in their/his home! and thought i'd write a lil thing! here have it  
> the names of the ghosts aren't canonical (other than Blook); but Papyrus does mention at some point his headcanon name for the ghost in the pink house is Hapstablook, so I'll be using that along with the fanon name for Mad Dummy as Madstablook.

Hapstablook was a ghost with many talents. Singing (although they did not physically have vocal cords), dancing (although they had no feet), writing (what are hands even?), and, most of all, dreaming. They dreamed of stardom, of drama, romance, bloodshed! ...Okay, maybe not really that last part, but the human movies always made it seem like an integral part of the high life. They dreamed of waking up to a shower of kisses every morning, even though, being incorporeal, they wouldn't be able to feel it. But the gesture would be nice. 

The pinkish ghost returned to their abode, clutching (if you could call it that) a diary to their chest. This would have been a giddy moment for them, however, they received some simply _terrible_ news the other day, and couldn't help but feel just awful. Hapst picked up a pencil and started jotting down their thoughts. 

_Dear Diary:_  
_Shyren’s sister “fell down” recently._  
_It’s sad… without her sister to speak for her…_  
_she’s become more reclusive than ever._  
_So I reached out to her, and told her…_  
_That she, Blooky, and I should all perform together sometime._  
_She seemed to like that idea._

Satisfied with the short entry, Hapst snapped the diary shut and placed it carefully on the ground. 

Shyren was a dear friend to them, but, quite like her name, she was _awfully_ shy, but she had a _killer_ voice. Seriously, don't get into a fight with her. Less seriously, but more seriously, Hapst L-O-V-E-D her voice, and, although they believed they had quite a voice themselves, they would always allow Shyren to take center stage. It was more of a confidence booster to her than anything. And now that Shyren's poor sister had "fallen down," Hapst took it upon themselves to be their voice. See, Shyren's sister was the OPPOSITE of Shyren. Like, um, outgoing? Bold? Maybe even a little... brash, at times? But she cared so much for her precious sister, and whenever Shyren felt too nervous to speak (often), her sister would lean in and listen close, taking in all of her secrets and only allowing others to hear what was allowed to be heard. But now... she's gone. 

Well, not really GONE gone, not... yet, at least. Close enough to it that she might as well be. The thought made Hapst tear up a little, but they dashed it from their mind, turning their thoughts, instead, to the television set. 

It was a bit of a ritual they'd perform. Flash a smile at the black TV screen (beautiful), flip their 'hair' (gorgeous), inspect the thin veil of translucent pink that was their incorporeal body (flawless), then they'd pop in whatever human movie they'd found in the trash heaps that day and watch with intensity. Memorizing line after line of dialogue, rewinding and copying each and every step of the actors until every role was their own. Hapst felt stardom calling for them. It filled them with a burning determination.


	2. Dearer Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> collections are important, don't you think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has a better suggestion for the title of this fic, please let me know, I really want to change it.  
> *drums fingers on knees* ok i'd like to fall asleep now. aaaaany minute. just. zz. out of it. please. insomnia fueled writing, whee! (tiny rant about how much i hate my body rn at the end)

"Stop being such a sourpuss."

"Well, maybe you can stop being such a...trashy...puss!"

"Nice rebuttal. Not." Hapst rolled their eyes, continuing to dig through the trash pile. "It's none of your business anyway, Mads."

"It IS my business! Because! You! Are! In! My! Space!!!"

"I didn't realize you owned the entirety of the trash around here." The wider, browner, angrier version of Napstablook glared heavily at them.

"WHATEVER! WHATEVER! WHATEVER!!" Which is what he said whenever he'd lost a fight. The ghost mumbled under his breath, dissolving away into the air. Hapst hummed, mulling over the conversation. It had only started with a simple request to help them find a new CD for Blookie... and turned into a debate over who could take what from the trash piles. They shook their lack of a head. So many monsters came around here to find unusual things that normally they couldn't find elsewhere in the Underground.

A glittery sparkle caught their eye, distracting them from their thoughts. "Ooh, shiny. I hope it's a cd!"  
...  
nope.  
Just a useless piece of plastic. Hapst scoffed, tossing the garbage over their non-existent shoulder, hearing it splash some ways behind them.

"....hey...." The little voice carried from behind. Hapst spun around to see a teary-eyed Blook hovering right where the plastic had landed, still creating ripples in the gross water. "If you hate me that much....... I'll just go......"

"Ohhhh no no no, Blookie, I'm so sorry!" Hapst cried, rushing to their cousin's side, giving a comforting nuzzle. The tears had already started flowing, though. "If I had known you were there I would have thrown it elsewhere. It was totally by accident!"

"....'s kay," they mumbled, "I probably deserve it anyway....." Hapst narrowed their eyes.

"Has Mads been bullying you again?"

"...................no..............." Blook avoided looking at them.

"Ugh! What an absolutely horrid ghost! I swear if that piece of garbage ever becomes corporeal, I'll kill him myself!" Hapst let out a cry of frustration, their face reddening beyond their usual pink. "I mean, seriously, what kind of a person goes and hurts his own cousin who is the most precious of marshmallows!"

"...I'm a ghost, but, whatever," they sniffled, looking a little bit more cheerful.

"I'm- I'm saying that you're too cute for anyone to hurt you, and that it takes a truly horrendous type of person to do that."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"..oh, gee..." A little smile crossed their face, small tears of happiness forming in their eyes. "S-so... what were you doing, anyway...?"

"OH! I was looking for a present for you!" Hapst grinned. "But I seem to be having trouble even FINDING anything worthwhile."

"..oh... oh man, no... I..."

"Don't say it."

"....don't deserve..."

"Stop."

"....a present."

"GGGHHH! NAPSTABLOOK!"

"I'm sorry!"

"YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING NICE YOU LITTLE DORK!" Hapst tackled their cousin, giving them (if you could imagine) a little noogie, which got Blook to laugh a little. "You love your music, right?"

"...yeah... music's pretty cool, I guess........."

"So it's important to have as much as you can get your hands on!"

"....if you say so."

* * *

 

Hapst leaned against the wall, taking in as much of the music as they could. Blookie had finally managed to find something to add to his collection, something that was actually pretty nice and calming. Piano, string instruments; entirely orchestral CD that could almost lull them into sleep, if ghosts needed sleep.

The pinker of the two clutched a new diary to their chest, breathing in the scent of the paper.

 

_Dearer Diary:_  
_I like to buy a new diary for every entry I make._  
_I love to collect diaries._

Just as Napstablook did with CDs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i also can't sneeze. okay, body, what critical process are you going to shut down next?! breathing?  
> ...oh wait, I have asthma. okay, how about eating?  
> ...stomach ulcer prevents eating. walking?!  
> ...joints hurt too much from sudden changes in the weather
> 
> are. you. kidding. me.


	3. Dearest Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haps begins to consider life in general as their cousin leaves the farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit sadder. tread carefully  
> also, please. really. someone help me with a better title for this fic. i'm desperate here.

Oh... what was their name again? They were always so quiet, that one... Still, it was a sad goodbye as Hapst's cousin packed their metaphorical bags and left the farm. Something about wanting to become corporeal, wanting to do something more with their life.

That's sort of how Hapst felt. Wanting to do something more. But... hah, they thought, I mean, does doing something more _really_ mean I have to become corporeal? No, no, that's... preposterous. Just because my _cousin_ decided it was best for them doesn't mean it's best for me. Right? Right. Okay. Moving on.

All three cousins showed up to send them off, Mads being, surprisingly, the most upset of them all. How about that? The one with anger issues being sad that a family member is leaving. Surprise, surprise.

"Please, don't leave me with these dummies," he begged. Oh. That makes sense now. The cousin just smiled gently.

"Sorry, Mads, but when you have a calling in life, you gotta just go... get it, you know?"

...A calling.

Everyone said their final goodbyes as the fourth cousin made their way to the Ruins in search of their life. Hapst went home, following Blookie most of the way, in silence. Blookie paused to talk to Hapst just before entering their house.

"....hey... you gonna come over later...?"

"Yeah, Blook. I'll be there."

"....thanks...." He mumbled before phasing through the door.

"Yeah, no problem," they said to no one. Hapst sighed, turning to enter their own home. Inside, they just kind of... floated. About eight inches off the ground, staring. At a wall. Filled with the feeling of... something. "...Let's distract ourselves, Hapst! Put on a movie! Take a nap! Do... something other than feel like worthless garbage!"

But they couldn't bring themselves to do it. Letting out a cry of frustration, they flopped onto the floor. Why was this bothering them so much? So what if their cousin had gone off to be corporeal? Who cares!! I can be a star with or without a 'real' body! I'm real enough just as I am! I... I...

What kind of a body would they have, even? What would be appropriate for someone as fabulous and daring as Hapstablook? They thought to all the hundreds of human movies they watched. Humans were pretty cool, they thought, even though they banished us down here... but maybe they weren't all that bad... but... no. Not like they could have a human body. They'd have to settle for something... less than that. Like a suit of armor or.. a... training... dummy. No!! Hapst felt... well, not trapped, per say, just...

Like they didn't belong in the world like this. They hadn't even really thought about it before. They dug deeper into their thoughts (probably a bad idea). Ghosts. So few went by he/him/she/her/xe/xem/etc... And, even then, every monster in the Underground would refer to ghosts as 'they' or 'it', which really rubbed them the wrong way. We are not _objects_ , we're incorporeal beings made of ectoplasm and magic. Other monsters are made of slime and magic, or flesh and magic, or snow and ice and magic, so what was the difference between them and ghosts? Just what they were made of. Now Mads, he used he/him pronouns, but, he was the only one. Blookie didn't really care, but seemed happiest being called by their name in place of pronouns. And Hapst... didn't know. "They?" Maybe. "It?" Hell, no. I am NOT an object, they fumed adamantly. "She?" Hm. A few times, because of their pink color, Hapst had been referred to as a girl, but... Pink is just a nice color, alright?! "He?" ...That... yeah? Maybe? Probably.

"I don't know!!" They flopped around, feeling the sting of tears in their eyes. Nothing _felt_ right anymore.

* * *

 

"What do you mean?"

"...I saw 'im... He's... a training dummy now."

"...I can't believe this." Hapst shook their head, taking another bite out of their ghost sandwich. "First... oh... what was their name again?" They looked at Blookie, who shrugged. "Well, first them, and now Mads? What... what is this?!"

"I dunno......" Blook sighed, staring to the ground. "Hapst... do you.... think... that you'd ever try to become corporeal?"

"No, never," they said without thinking. 

"...heh. Same. It... just wouldn't be for me.... I'm pretty okay just being who I am...."

"You're perfect the way you are, darling." A tint of red flushed across their face.

"Oh... no... don't say that...."

"You're so cute when you blush!"

"...stop complimenting me!" Their face turned redder. Hapst sniggered, continuing to tease their cousin for hours until Blookie was nothing but smiles and laughs.

* * *

They flipped open a new diary, readying a pencil.

_Dearest Diary:_  
_Our cousin left the farm to become a training dummy._  
_That leaves just Blooky and I._  
_Blooky asked me if I was going to try to become corporeal, too._  
_They sounded so… resigned…_  
_Come on, Blooky. You know I’d never leave you behind._  
_And besides…_  
_I’d never find the kind of body I’m looking for, anyway._

 


	4. My Darling Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ol' buddy, ol' pal, ol' friend o' mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M REALLY TIRED AND FEELING SILLY SO LET'S WRITE THE CUTE CHAPTER WITH ALPHYS!!! ALSO APPEARING: SANS AND PAPYRUS  
> oh, from this point on, it's from Hapst's pov? i find it easier to write that way. SORRY I SUCK AT THIS  
> also a lot more happened in this chapter than i originally planned hah hah long longer yet longer... the words keep growing, the feels cutting deeper-  
> you know what, i'm going to stop that RIGHT THERE

Humans are... really cool. Like, super cool. I mean. Have you SEEN their movies? It's incredible. The way they walk, talk, dance, sing, fight... their technology is amazing!! I could never conceive having weapons and romances and lives as incredible as theirs. 

I should start a fan club. Surely, there must be other monsters who think they're cool. Monsters who AREN'T still upset over the war. What a grand idea! A Human Fanclub! I'm so smart!

"BLOOKIE!" I slammed their front door open, making them jump. "I NEED TO BORROW YOUR COMPUTER FOR A BIT!"

"....oh. okay. yeah. just... hold on a sec," they closed out a few tabs and moved aside. "...could you not scare me like that next time, though...?"

"My bad! I've just had a horribly fantastic idea, and it just COULD NOT wait." I opened up my blog, with its wonderful 8 followers, along with Undernet, Cragslist, and whatever else I could think of. I typed furiously.

* * *

_Hey, you! Yeah, you!_

_Do you like humans?! Do you think they're totally fabulous?!_

_Do you dig through piles of trash to get the latest and greatest in human fashion,  
_

_movies, games, and music?_

_Well, you're in good company!_

_Introducing the Human Fan Club!_

_All who are interested in joining may come to the first meeting,_

_which will be a week from today_

_in the Quiet Area of Waterfall._

_Bring snacks!_

* * *

Satisfied, I published the advertisement, saving a copy to print off. I thought for a second about where I would even be able to print the flyers... Ah, details.

"Blookie!"

"Y-yes!" They snapped out of what seemed to be a trance. 

"Break out the dance music! I feel like celebrating!"

  


* * *

  


Printer, printer... "Excuse me?"

"Yes, we know, the sign is misspelled, you don't-"

"Oh, no, I don't care about that. Do you have a printer I can use?"

"Uh, yeah, it's under the counter here..."

The librarian turned the computer towards me and instructed me on printing out a bunch of flyers. I thanked her, leaving some gold on the counter to pay for the ink and paper and exited into the snowy wonderland of Snowdin.

I hated coming here. The cold blew through me and chilled me right to the bone. Though, I had to admit, the Christmas lights were cute. I started humming an old carol from one movie I watched... I couldn't remember the words, only the notes. I stopped in front of one house in particular, much larger than the others, and absolutely decked out (in comparison, at least). It was cute. Continuing to hum, I stuffed a flyer into each of the mailboxes.

"OH, A GHOST! WE DON'T GET MANY OF YOU HERE!" The booming voice made me jump. I spun, seeing a skeleton towering over me.

"U-u-uh?!" I was at a loss for words.

"...OH, I'M SORRY, DID I SCARE YOU? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, APOLOGIZE."

"It-it's quite alright, darling," I laughed it off. "Oh, hey, here, take one of these!" I showed him the flyers and he picked one off the top.

"HUMAN FAN CLUB? SOUNDS... INTERESTING. BUT IT'S MY JOB TO CAPTURE HUMANS, NOT BECOME A FAN OF ONE!"

*really, bro? a fan? i thought you were a skeleton.

A shorter, more round skeleton appeared off to the side. Wait, where'd he come from?  


"Wait, where'd you come from?" I said out loud, forgetting to filter that thought out. 

"SANS THAT WAS A HORRIBLE PUN!"

*heh. no need tibia jerk about it.

"Oh, no, that one was even  _worse._ " I groaned. 

"AH, A FELLOW PUN HATER!"

"Puns are truly the lowest form of comedy," I glowered at the shorter skeleton. "I myself am more of a fan of classic gags and puzzles."

"EVEN BETTER!" The taller skeleton clapped giddily. "I THINK WE COULD BE FRIENDS, IF IT WEREN'T FOR THIS HUMAN FAN CLUB."

*gee, i didn't know that there were fans that were human. do they talk? do they think?

"I'm leaving now," I shook my head, starting to float away. I listened to the last of their conversation before returning home, which went something along the lines of,

"SANS, YOUR HORRIBLE JOKES MADE MY NEW FRIEND FLY AWAY!"

*calm down, papyrus, i mean, you should have been able to see right through them.

"THAT ONE DOESN'T EVEN WO- WAIT WAS THAT A GHOST JOKE?!"  


  


* * *

  


**ONE WEEK LATER.**  


**  
**

"Uhhh... h-hello...? I-is this the right spot?" 

Towards the eastern exit of the Quiet Area, a short yellow... lizard? Dinosaur? With atrocious choice in fashion appeared, adjusting her glasses. "I-I saw a, uhm, hold-hold on, I have it here somewhere..." She rummaged inside her lab coat. "Ahah! Okay, um, I saw, an ad about a... Human Fan Club?"

"WELL THEN, YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!" I popped out of thin air next to her, making her almost jump right out of her skin. She screamed. "Welcome, darling... oh, what did you say your name was?"

"I-I didn't!"

"Oh, okay, well, that's a strange name, 'I didn't', but I've heard stranger." She squinted at me as I snickered.

"My name is Alphys. And you are?"

"Allllpphyyyys, I like it! It's cute! Just like you." She blushed a little. "I'm Hapstablook. But you can call me Hapst, sweetie. And welcome to my human fan club!"

"So... you're the one who posted those ads all over Underground?"

"Yes indeedie! Though, it looks like it might just be the two of us today..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...That's okay, though! We can have fun, just the two of us! Why don't we move this to my house! We'd be more comfortable in there anyway."

"O-oh, sure..." Alphys began to follow me up to my house, stopping for just a moment and making a small 'oh'. "I brought snacks!" She reached into her coat again, pulling out a box of... something.

"What is that?" I squinted at the box, but the writing on it was completely foreign to me.

"I-it's, uh, um, Pokey! It's biscuit sticks dipped in strawberry flavored stuff!"

"...Stuff."

"Well, I thought-"

"I LOVE STRAWBERRY FLAVORED STUFF!" She giggled nervously. Oh, she is just too precious! "Now, come in, we have much to talk about!"

* * *

Well, that was exhausting. I didn't think anyone could go on about cartoons for that long. She even showed me a bunch of episodes of... whatever that was, Annie May? It was awful, but seeing her smile and talk excitedly about it... 

Well, it made me pretty happy, too. And we both have a love for drama, romance, and most of all... bloodshed! In the acting, of course. She even cracked a few jokes that weren't completely awful.

I think I'd... like to call her a friend, almost.

I took out my new diary, jotting into it...

_My Darling Diary:_  
_I met someone… interesting today._  
_Last week I posted that advertisement for my Human Fanclub. Today was our first meeting._  
_Only one other person came._  
_Honestly, she’s a dork._  
_And she’s obsessed with these awful cartoons._  
_But she’s kind of funny, too…_  
_I want to see her again._

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...if anyone caught the really bad rock joke, you get many points. good job.


	5. Diary... My Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you smooch a ghost?  
> [A] Heck Yeah [C] Heck Yeah  
> [B] Heck Yeah [D] Heck yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a writing MACHINE  
> this is a very cute chapter, i must admit, please enjoy

"I'm bored!" I hovered upside down in front of Blookie. "I'mmmm booooooorrreeeeed!" I sang. "I'm bored, I'm bored. I am bored."

"....I didn't know you were a plank of wood," they said with a totally blank expression.

"OH MY GOD, NAPSTABLOOK."

"Heh."

"THAT IS ONE OF THE WORST JOKES I'VE EVER HEARD!!"

"Wood you like to hear something different, then?" They glanced up from the computer screen.

"WHERE ARE YOU LEARNING THESE THINGS!!! THIS IS TORTURE!!" I flew around the room, yelling out in frustration. They were full out giggling with no remorse, now.

"...oh... there's this guy... on the forums... he started off with jokes about music... he's pretty punny..." I shot a death glare at them, approaching quickly. They raised two stubby ghost arms up in defense, eyes widening.

"Napstablook." I grabbed at them, looking intently into his eyes. "I think you're barking up the wrong tree here."

"..."

"..."

The silence was broken by the sound of our howling laughter, the two of us doubling over in near tears. It took a good minute for us to calm down. Gosh, I loved it when we had these moments. They were far and few between. Blookie was truly my most beloved cousin. I took a deep breath and looked at them, and in a dark tone, I said:

"But seriously, I'm horridly bored. Let's go _do_ something, Blook!"

"...um... okay... I guess..." They shrugged, shutting off the computer screen. "...but what would we even do?"

"Oh, I do suppose that's a good question. Hmmmm, what to do, what to..." A metaphorical light bulb went off in my head. "We haven't gone to the Capitol together in a few years, almost. How about we do that?"

"....yikes... ummm..." They shifted uncomfortably back and forth, gazing at the ground. Ah, bless this poor, introverted little ghost. "...isn't the elevator, like, broken, or something...?" It was true, that old, run down hotel (seriously, when would someone come along and buy that place out?) had a broken elevator to the capitol for GOD knows how long. But.. wait.

"Blookie."

"Yeah?"

"We're ghosts."

"So?"

"We can just fly up."

"....oh.... but I kind of thought we'd need something to lift our spirits...?"

And, in that moment, an outside observer would have sworn I was channeling Mads, because I was absolutely _steaming_. Blookie was just hovering there, giggling like an idiot, though.

"ALRIGHT!" I forced myself to calm back down. "Go get your money. We're leaving in ten minutes."

"Yeah, whatever, _dad,_ they chuckled a bit more.

...

...........

...............Dad??

* * *

"Ooooooh," I gawked at the bright pink boots in the store window. "Blookie... look at these babies!"

"..."

"Napstablook?" I spun around, looking in about eight different directions, spotting them nowhere. "Oh, come ON! How do you lose a ghost?" 

".......you forget to cherish it...........?" I swear, if I had a neck, it would have broken at the speed my face whipped upwards to the sky. Napstablook was half floating off into the inky darkness above. 

"If I hear one more bad joke from you, I'm putting a leash on you and grounding you."

"...that's kinda hard to do... considering I can't touch ground...."

"THAT'S IT I'M DONE GOODBYE NAPSTABLOOK!" I made a point of steering FAR away from them, going further into the shopping district.

"....oh... hey, come on... it wasn't that bad.... Hapst?..." They trailed close behind me. "...I made you really upset... didn't I...."

_oh no_

".....i should have stopped earlier... I'm the worst..."

"You're not the worst, Blookie," I said softly, turning around to them. It was a bit late, because they were already a blubbering mess. A few monsters gave us some weird looks as they passed by, and I returned them with hate-filled stares. 

"I am..... oh... why couldn't I just listen..... oohhhh... no wonder Mads hates me...."

"Mads hates everyone, though." That had no effect on alleviating their sadness. I sighed, ushering Blookie to sit down in a conveniently placed chair nearby. "Blookie, darling, I could never hate you. I can't even muster up the energy to pretend to be  _mad_ at you most times."

"....then," they sniffled, "....what was with those... reactions... to my jokes....?"

"That..." I was making a real reach here. "...wasn't me being mad at  _you,_ honey. Yeah, the jokes are  _bad,_ but they're also so... witty and clever."

"...You really think so...?"

"Yes, of course I do!" No, I don't. "I'm being mad at  _myself_ for not being able to be as creative as you."

"...oh, gee..." They smiled a little. "...But, Hapst, you're already so creative... I'm... really jealous of you... I can't sing and dance like you can..."

"Ah, but you can mix music and go on for hours about the difference between two genres of music, even when they sound the same to me." I shrugged a little. "You're really smart, Blookie. You're cute, you're fun to be around... I'm surprised there aren't tons of people throwing themselves at you."

"...well, they'd phase right through me," they chuckled.

"That's besides the point! You're amazing, Blook! You should be showered with kisses!" 

"...oh, I don't know about that..."

"Excuse me, s...madam?" I turned to the slime monster passing by, grabbing Blookie and pushing them in front of... her? "Would you smooch this ghost?"

"Uh," she laughed a little, "I guess?"

"You see, Blookie?" Their face was completely red, and only incoherent stutters fell out of their mouth. "Thank you for your time, miss." She gave a noncommittal smile and quickly turned away. Once she was out of earshot, I said, "okay, well, the correct answer would have been, 'heck yeah,' but..."

"...Hapst.... oh my gosh..." They were starting to laugh a little. "...you're so weird..." 

"I know, dearest cousin. Now, come! More shopping awaits!"

* * *

I sighed, relaxing on my bed. Boy, what a day! I pulled out another new diary that I had gotten while we were out. 

And yet....

Despite all the happenings...

...I couldn't think of a single thing to write.

Hm.

_Diary… My dear:_  
_My diary collection is going fabulously._  
_I have like five now._

...I suppose that'll do.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all your questions, answers, bad puns, strange emojis, mysterious and horrifying gifts, and love may be directed to my tumblr, letterstolapis.


	6. Dear Diary.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ghost cries (some mild swears in this chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i guess the title is sticking, huh?  
> THERE ARE PRINCESS BRIDE SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT PLEASE WATCH IT IT'S THE BEST  
> Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies of all time so the fact that i wrote it in makes me wonder what kind of horrible person would throw it out  
> i randomly thought of a name for the fourth ghost cousin but it will literally never come up again so i'm not putting it in the tags lol. I took a little bit of creative liberty with the last diary entry, too. enjoy~

Everyone's gone corporeal nowadays. It's just me and Blookie. It's lonely, and I shouldn't mind, but I do, and I HATE IT. I can't become famous without people knowing about me! How is anyone supposed to know about me if they all. Keep. DISAPPEARING?! I've tried to be calm. But I can't wait any longer! Stardom waits for no man! The spotlight, it beckons me! I hear the roar of the audience! The stage lights blaring! Welcome, darlings and gentledarlings, to the Underground's premier star! Give it up for-!

....For whom? I can't go on stage as Hapstablook, that's absurd! A ghost like myself could never be a star. Everyone would stare right past me, and not because I'm transparent.

"....hey....?"

And I certainly can't have that. I'm so alone, I crave, I NEED! The attention! I need to be famous! I need-

"Hapst...?" A small head butted me, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh. Hello, you two," I greeted Blookie and Shyren. They looked worried. Shyren started to open her mouth, but covered it with her tiny fins and backed behind Blookie.

"...are you okay, Hapst? You've been looking.... depressed lately....."

"Oh, no, please, I'm perfect! How could anyone as flawless as myself be _depressed?_ "

"......if you say so."

"I'm fine!" I boasted, smiling proudly. "Oh, dear, look at the that, it's almost time for my Human Fanclub meeting. I don't want to be rude, but I'm about to have guests over. Blookie, take care of little Shyren here for the rest of the night? Maybe you can have a few snail races."

"thatsoundskindoffun," she murmured quickly, almost too quietly to hear.

"Yeah.... let's do that.... have fun, Hapst..."

They showed themselves out of the house, which... I then realized, they had just let themselves into. Rude. I should really get a lock for that door. But, whatever, I should ALSO tidy up before Alphys arrived, I thought, stacking my diaries on top of each other. I was running out of room for them. Make the bed, polish the television (look at myself in its mirror-like reflection, strike a pose), set out non-ghost snacks... and wait.

Though she was promptly on time! A knock came at my door at exactly 0x:30 P.M. Why do we even have clocks down here? They don't work. Always running late or off by a certain amount of hours or... 

"U-um, h-h-hello? Hapst, are... are you home? Th-the lights are on, but-" OH RIGHT YES. I rushed to the door and opened it up. "Eep!"

"Alphys, darling, so sorry, I was a little lost in thought there. Please, come in!" I ushered her through the door. She scuffled in, head ducked. Ah, still so shy. "So, I looked into that, uh, Annie May you had playing last time?"

"Oh oh oh," she suddenly jumped up, excited, "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie! It's the best, isn't it?! OH my gosh can you believe that she used her powers on Yuki in episode eight?! Of all people, I mean, I totally ship it but only in this one AU where Yuki is a girl like her because he'd be so much better as a girl and-"

"Alphys," I hushed her, growing irked, "All I've done is actually watch the first episode. It was okay, I guess."

"O-oh! Th-that's, um, good! I-I'm glad you're looking into it!!" She grinned awkwardly, adjusting her glasses.

"..Please, have a seat," I gestured to the bed. She hopped on, shimmying herself up against the wall, knees curled against her chest. "No need to be so tense, darling, relax! We're friends, after all." I floated over, offering her the plate of poptato chisps. "Snack?"

"F...friends?!" She giggled excitedly. "S-sure!" She grabbed a handful and munched on them. "Sho," she said through a full mouth, "what're we gon' watch today?" Uh, gross, don't talk with your mouth open.

"Hmm, that's a good question. I was thinkiiing something liiiiike..." I turned to the television, clicking it on, the movie already at the title screen. "This?"

"The Princess Bride?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Sounds kind of lame, Hapst." I gaped in horror.

"LAME?! Alphys, darling, the movies I watch are ANYTHING but lame."

"Some of them were lame."

"Keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means," I quoted flawlessly, narrowing my eyes.

"Fine! But if it's LAAAME," she curled her lip up, "then I'm gonna make you watch ALL of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie!"

"IT'S A DEAL!" I slammed the television and started up the movie. 

* * *

 

"....Ohmygod," she giggled. "That was so great! Wow!" Alphys hopped up off the bed, her lab coat fluttering a bit. "I think Inigo is my favorite- he was so awesome, the way he kept going after he found his father's killer! Gosh!"

"Oh, hm, I'd have to say I'm totally enamored with Wesley. What a hunk!"

"That does put a damper in our relationship." She pun around, smirking and making a fake swordfighting stance.

"I see what you're doing!" I laughed, opposing her. 

"You are ready, then?" Alphys attempted to copy Inigo's accent.

"Whether I am or not, you have been more than fair."

"You seem like a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

"You seem like a decent fellow. I hate to die." I giggled a little before breaking character. "Oh my goodness, can you imagine! Inigo up against a ghost, he'd be sooo frustrated!"

"The six fingered man is a ghost now!" We howled with laughter, Alphys clutching her stomach. 

"Oh, my, " I sighed, "I want to be JUST like Wesley."

"...Huh?" 

"Well, you know. I've always wanted to be a star," I flipped my ghostly hair. 

"Oh yeah, you kind of mentioned that," Alphys blinked. "The road to stardom can be tough, I'm guessing?"

"You guessed correctly!" I hummed a little, sadly. "I want to be tall and powerful and handsome! The prince of the Underground! I want monsters of all kinds swooning over me, and then, and then...! When we finally escape, I'll be humanity's star, too!" My eyes shone brightly with determination. Alphys had an excited smile on her face.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, I-I can help!!" She waved her arms eagerly. 

"...What?" I gave her a disbelieving look. "How can YOU help ME?"

"Well! I didn't tell you this before, be-because! I... got scared you might not like me if I did..." She shuffled her feet uncomfortably. "B-but! I'm. Actually. Sorta. The, uh, Royal Scientist? I work under King Asgore, studying the nature of souls... um... and, uh... why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I have no idea where you're going with this."

"Well... I could... I could build you a body!"

"A... you could WHAT?!" I spat, confounded.

"Y-yeah! You.. you could become corporeal!! And and, I'm- I'm SURE that you could become famous!! I could promote you!! And I could get the King to, to do that, too! You'll be famous, Hapst!"

"...corporeal." A silence hung in the air. I felt my body sagging a little. Corporeal = famous? No. No! I couldn't do that to Blookie. But... I... my life's goal! My ultimate hopes and dreams! Stardom, drama, romance...! My mouth hung open.

"...Hapstablook?"

"J-just give me a moment, please," I said in a muted whisper. If I had a stomach, it'd be flipping over. A body. A real chance at this. "...Alphys," I said finally.

"Yes?"

"Will you make me beautiful?"

"You'll be gorgeous," she chuckled. 

"...Do it."

"A-are you sure?"

"I am not throwing away my shot."

"...alright," she sighed, nodding. "I have to draw up some designs. Do you think you could wait a short while? I mean, I have other things going on at the lab, too, so-"

"Bring as many as you've got at next weeks' meeting." I gave her my most serious look. "But... I have to ask. Why would you do such a thing for me?"

"...hah, well," she shrugged. "I... I don't feel very confident in anything I do, and it'll probably suck, but you're my... you're my friend, Hapst. You said so yourself." She seemed a bit down. "I've done some bad things and I wish I could change it for the better..."

"...I think we all wish we could change, sweetheart." I radiated a warm, pink glow to comfort her. Ghosts can do that, y'know. "And yeah, we are friends. We're best friends, in fact."

* * *

 

"....oh, hey." I peeked over Blookie's shoulder, staring at the snails. I pointed at the one with an unusually large mustache. 

"That one looked at me funny," I whispered. It twitched its whiskers. "Gah!"

"that one's okay once you get to know them....."

"Why do we even have a snail farm, anyway?"

".......that's a really good question, actually...." They made a shrugging motion, accidentally knocking off their headphones from their head and into a puddle. "Oh, drat... I just bought those...."

"I'll buy you a new pair, Blookie." I gave them a patient smile. They looked a bit better. "Say, I... wanted to talk to you about something. It's kind of important."

"Yeah? Well I'm all ears...."

"...you chose now to make that pun?"

"What? Oh. Oh!" They stifled a small giggle. "I didn't even realize....."

"RIGHT ANYWAY!" I burst out, putting a stop to that before it even started. "Um, well. You know me, and I..." I was at a loss of words for once. "Goodness, is it warm out or something?"

"...same temperature it's always been, Hapst...."

"Sure! Right, just me, then?" I took a deep breath. "I... just, well, you know my dreams and how I want to do some really great things and.... okay, let me start over. I have an opportunity to become a star, Blookie. And... it might involve me going away for a while."

"...oh.... um.... but... for how long?" They were already starting to look sad.

"That's the thing. I don't know. If it all works out, I might not come home for a long time." I tried avoiding looking at them. "And I thought you ought to know, because, you're my favorite family member, and, well..."

"...b-b-but... I'll be all alone," they blubbered.

"No! No  nonono, Blookie, no! You wouldn't be alone! You'd- you'd have.. Shyren will still be around!"

"hoooo..... nooo.... you're my only friend..... p-please, I don't...." their words were blurring together. "Sh-shyren is g-great and all.... b-but you're m-m-my family! Mads and Lacks are gone! N-now you'll be leaving, too...." They sobbed, acid tears hissing on the stone ground. Lacks? Oh, right, Lackstablook, our cousin... the training dummy one. Whatever.

"...Blookie, please, darling, I love you. You are so near and dear to me, but I can't just... give up my hopes and dreams! You have to understand...."

"But I DON'T!" They shouted. Oh no. They NEVER shouted. "Why is it that everyone feels the need to go away! Why can't everyone just be happy here, as a family, together!" Their tears were a mixture of anger and heartache. "It all started with Lacks going off to becoming a training dummy, then Mads, and then, then there was a few weeks where everything was good! Everything was going to be okay, as long as I had you, Hapstablook! And now you're going to leave me, too...." Their voice dropped to their usual sad whisper. "Why can't you just.... stay?"

"Blookie..."

"..don't... please..."

"I don't want to be.. stuck here!" I gave an exasperated sigh. "This was not made for me! This place is just weighing me down! I'll never become a star if I just stick around!"

"...weighing you down, huh...? gee....."

**_[Napstablook faded_ _away.]_ **

"No, wait! Bl.... They're gone..." I felt the same stomach-turning emotion from earlier, but this time, for the wrong reasons. "...Shit. God f... damn it. I'm... I'm sorry, Blookie..."

* * *

 

**a few days later, at the club meeting:**

"Come in!!"

"Th-the door is locked!" 

"Oh, whoopsie!" I chided myself for forgetting that I put one in. I went and unlocked the door and let Alphys in.

"Thanks," she murmured. She had a sketchbook clutched to her chest.

"I-is that it?!"

"Yeah," she nodded. I shut the door and pushed her further in, sitting her down on the rug. 

"Come on, I wanna see!" She grimaced. "Alphys, dear, I promise you that whatever you drew in there is going to be GREAT."

"..A...alright..." She placed the sketchbook on the ground, spinning it to face me and opened it up some ways in, skipping over doodles of anime cat girls and... my neighbor? She held her hand on one blank page, ready to turn it. "I... only drew one. I got hit with some inspiration and... well, I hope you like it."

"Turn the page already, woman!" She flipped it, and...

Oh.

Oh, my god. 

"Alphys..."

"I'm so-"

"It's beautiful! Do- do you have more?!"

"Um, just a few pages. That's, um, just the one form, though, this other form will take a lot longer to make but I can do it, and I figured that you'd want something more like in the movies.. and um..."

I excitedly flipped between the pages of the sketches. The poses, the abilities... "What's this?" I peeked at something in the corner. "...Mettaton?"

"Oh, it's... just a name I kinda came up with. Gotta name everything, right?"

"Mettaton. I....I like the sound of that, actually."

"Wait, really? It was just the name of the model, but..."

"I'd like to take it as my own, if... that's okay, Alphys."

"O-of course!! I, honestly... wasn't expecting you to, I-"

"I was obviously going to come up with a name other than Hapstablook, I mean, what's a star without a handle, right?" I barked a laugh.

"...R-right..." She agreed hesitantly. 

"Mettaton... the Underground's premiere superstar and idol... A man of many talents... I can see it now!" I spun dramatically, imitating a swooning woman. "Ohhh, Mettaton! You're simply too sexy to handle!"

"Hah!" Alphys snorted. I spun again, pretending to be a screaming fan.

"METTATON! I LOVE YOU! SIGN MY APPENDAGES!!!"

"Oh my god, stop!!"

"You know, Mettaton, my girlfriend broke up with me because of you... I'm too obsessed!"

"You're such a dork, Hap-I mean, _Mettaton_ ," she fake punched me. I couldn't contain myself.

"Alphys, you are the literal best!"

"I-I-I.. no... I mean, I'm... I'm really not..." A little blush crossed her face. "U-um, anyway, i-if you wanted! We could! I mean, I could take you to the lab and... we could get started!"

"What, like, right away?"

"Y-yeah!"

"...You know..." My face fell into a sad smile. "I think that might be for the best. Do you mind waiting outside while I ready myself?"

"Sure, yeah." She picked up her sketchbook and quietly exited. Of course, being a soon-to-be-former ghost, I didn't really need to grab anything, but I... Wanted to leave one last memento behind. I took the last diary I bought off the top of the stack (which then fell all over the floor) and wrote down my final thoughts:

_Dear Diary:_  
_She surprised me with something today._  
_Sketches of a body that she wants to create for me._  
_A form beyond my wildest fantasies._  
_In a form like that, I could finally feel like… “myself.”_  
_After all, there’s no way I can be a star the way I am now. Sorry, Blooky. My dreams can’t wait for anyone…_

I was about to close it, but then I thought to add one last note.

_Oh, and Blookie?_  
_I hope that if you ever read these, please, I want you to know..._  
_I never felt weighed down by YOU, just the situation I was in._  
_You deserve the world and all of it's love, darling._  
_And it might not mean much..._  
_But I'll always be your number one fan._  
_Love,_  
_~~Hapstablook~~ Mettaton._

I gently placed the diary down and left my house, locking it and gazing up at it one last time.

"Are you ready?" Alphys' voice turned me back to my senses.

"Ah, yes. Just... one more thing. Come now." We took the short path to the Quiet Area. "Wait here for just one second." I floated to the Trash Zone, key in hand. "...Farewell, my beloved Napstablook." In a breath of concentration, I hurled the key as far into the waters as I could, turning back without looking to where it landed. I then returned to Alphys, who greeted me with a gentle smile. 

"I-if there's anything else you need to do, I'm more than happy to wait..."

"No," I shook my head. "Let's adjourn. The spotlight awaits!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also uh THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY??? I'M SO SORRY  
> final chapter coming up next!! it will be less sad (maybe a little melancholy to say the least)  
> bonus points to whoever finds the Hamilton reference


	7. Not a Robot, But a Ghost (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of stories after Mettaton receives his new body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end!! I had a lot of fun writing this and I'm really glad all of you liked it so much!! there will be more spoopy ghost family stuff coming up soon, revolving around Napstablook between chapters 6 and 7 of this fic.  
> also the title is a song by Andrew Bird pls listen to it  
> COME AGAIN SOON!!

**_[Mettaton is saving your essay for future use.]_ **

Cupping the mug of steamed oil in his hands, the boxy calculator stared at the wall. But this wasn't just any wall, no, this wall was THE wall. Fanmail, love letters, proposals, wishes of good luck and love, even a few death threats- he kept each and every one. It had been a few years since his debut, and he was still going as strong as he was then. 

"ALPHYS, DARLING?"

"Y-yeah?" Her voice called from further within the lab.

"DO YOU THINK I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION?"

"What do you mean?" She poked her head out from around a corner. 

"...DOING THIS. ALL THIS."

"I'm not sure what you're getting at," she stepped in closer, "but what matters is you're happy, right?"

"I AM."

"So then what's the problem, Metta?" She grinned her dorky, toothy smile. He clasped a hand on her shoulder.

"YOU'RE RIGHT, MY FRIEND. BY THE BY, HOW IS THAT OTHER FORM OF MINE COMING ALONG?"

"Oh!" She clasped her hands together. "Come, come look! It's almost ready!!"

Alphys had taken her sweet time creating his EX form. So long, in fact, that there had been many times where Mettaton had grown impatient and lashed out at her. Long enough for him to go many months without talking to her in his ire. But, in time, he would always return to her, his best friend and confidant. Wheeling behind her, she led him into the work space. 

There, on the table, was what looked to be the nearly complete form. He made a robotic gasp, dropping the mug to the ground. "ALPHYS! IT... IT'S SO... IT'S BEYOND WHAT I COULD EVER HOPE IT TO BE!!"

Truly, it was her greatest invention. It was tall, slim, coated in slick black and silver paints, with... glitter? The hair flowed so perfectly over a finely sculpted face. He reached a hand out and stroked the arm gently, letting out a small shudder of pleasure.

"Ahahaha," she chuckled nervously. "I'm glad you like it... there's just one last detail that I need your input on. What color do you want these parts to be?" She pointed to the chest plate, soul container, and legs. 

"PINK," he answered immediately. "HOT PINK." He flashed a smile across his screen, and then a throbbing heart.

"...sure, alright," she shrugged, turning her attention to a color chart. "Pink, pink, pink..."

* * *

 

"Just a sec!" Undyne's voice came muffled from inside the house. A few clinks of chains indicated her unlocking the door. "Hey, Alphys! Come on i...n..." She narrowed her eyes at the figure behind her. "...Alphys? Who is this?"

"O-oh! Th-this is my friend, Mettaton!" She forced a grin, gesturing to him. He strode forward, picking one of Undyne's hands in his own.

"UNDYNE, IS IT? ALPHYS HAS TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU." He leaned down and placed a small kiss on it. Hm, a bit clammy. "IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, DARLING." Undyne's face grew grim, her body rigid. He dropped her hand and stepped back again. Alphys was covering her face under her claws, shaking.  _Did I do something wrong?_ "WELL! LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!" He waved Alphys in in front of him (*and by waved, I mean pushed*).

"C...come right in," Undyne said stiffly. They entered, greeted by a comfortable, cute house, which is totally not like Undyne but also exactly like her, at least, in Mettaton's opinion. Blue and yellow tiled floor, two purple shag rugs, a little table (adorned with bottles of soda and some snacks for Alphys) and a-

"IS THAT A PIANO?!" Undyne twitched. 

"Yeah. I play sometimes. Why?" She sneered. 

"OH, ALPHYS, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR... FRIEND," he winked, making a blush appear on her face, "WAS MUSICALLY TALENTED!" He hopped gracefully atop the piano, sprawling himself.

"Y...yeah, I picked up a few things after listening to the music that ghost next door keeps playing..."

"GHOST?" He raised an eyebrow. Obviously she meant Blookie... the thought made his face fall. "INTERESTING." He wanted to change subjects now right away please and thank you. Poking a button on the inside of his wrist, his chest cavity opened and out he pulled a bunch of grapes. He snapped it shut and started to bite them off, one by one, staring right into Undyne's eyes.

"hh...wh..." Both faces were growing redder and redder by the minute.

_Wink._

"Leave."

In a few quick seconds involving a bustling of activity and shouts of protest, he was shoved out the door (or, rather, suplexed out the door) and locked out. He huffed, blowing the strands of hair that had fallen out of place. Standing, Mettaton dusted himself off and strut away. So much for showing off his new body. Maybe it was just better to stick to his calculator form...

...Lost in thought, he found himself standing in the Quiet Area. He turned and stared down the opening of cave that led to his former home forlornly. 

"....uuummm... ex...excuse me...." A small voice came from beside him. Mettaton tried his best not to jump. "ohhh.... I'm... sorry, did I scare you...?"

"OF COURSE NOT, HONEY!" He laughed. It took all of his effort to not wrap his arms around his cousin.

"...wait, are... you Mettaton? I've seen you on television..... you're pretty great........."

"THE ONE AND ONLY! PLEASURE TO MEET A FAN. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, CUTIE PIE?"

"c-c...cute...? oh.... it's not important.... i'm not so great...." Napstablook was already starting to cry. 

"O-OH NO, PLEASE DON'T CRY, SWEETHEART, EVERY-" He twisted his mouth at his words. He was about to say every fan, but, "-EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT. EVEN YOU. CHEER UP, DARLING, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"

"..really?"

"REALLY. BESIDES, I THINK I RECOGNIZE YOU. NAPSTABLOOK, RIGHT? YOUR MUSIC IS MAKING ROUNDS ON THE UNDERNET. I'M IMPRESSED."

"....oh..... gee, thanks...." They looked a little better. "u-uhm, I don't want to be rude, but I've got to go take care of some things...."

"OF COURSE, DON'T LET ME KEEP YOU WAITING. HAVE A LOVELY DAY, DARLING!" He waved them off as they floated silently down the corridor. A knot twisted in his stomach. It seemed obvious that Blook hadn't read anything or entered his former home... 

...it filled Mettaton with sadness.

* * *

 

"M-M-METTATON!!! COME LOOK AT THIS!!!!" She barged into the room. "TH-THT- HU- RUINS- SNOWDIN- CUTE- AAAHHHH???"

"ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS," he waved a chastising finger back and forth. "CALM YOURSELF. WHAT IS THE ISSUE?" She took a deep breath, claws still twitching from excitement.

"There's a human in the underground!!"

"WHAT."

"Y-yeah! Come look! They're on the monitorrrrwwwhaaaaAAAA!" He lifted her up and wheeled them both out to the main portion of the lab, setting her down in front of the monitor, alight with activity.

"WHAT IS THIS?!" He slammed his hands down on the control panel. Out in the deepest parts of Snowdin Forest, a child, short, plain brown hair, purple striped shirt, swinging around a little stick and laughing at - was that the skeleton he had met once in the past? Sans? - bad jokes. "OH MY GOD, ALPHYS."

"I know! It-it's so great!!!" He clapped his hands in front of his screen in a prayer-like form. "What?"

"...I WISH TO ADOPT THEM. THEY ARE SIMPLY TOO PRECIOUS, I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM!" On screen, the child giggled at a Snowdrake's pun. Mettaton played an audience 'aww'-ing from his speakers.

"Yeah, they are pretty cute!" Alphys's phone went off. "Ah, just one sec... oh! You know, Mettaton, I could get you to see them up close and personal right away!... if you want, of course." 

"OH, YOU SMUG TEMPTRESS, DO TELL!"

And so, Alphys spilled the metaphorical beans. She would send Mettaton to Snowdin to help Papyrus with a puzzle for the human- "Go easy on them this time," she had said, "and we'll increase difficulty as it goes!" She told Mettaton to play the part of a killer robot, which wasn't too entirely untrue, as he WAS equipped with anti-human defenses. Meaning laser beams and electric shocks that were rated at over five billion Joules. And she would save them. She needed this, Mettaton thought, to boost her confidence!

...Of course, this grew weary on him. Jealousy built as Alphys continued to praise the human while he was putting on the performance of a lifetime! They are not the star of this show!! He had seen enough fun and games, and Alphys was starting to get a little late to the party, so why not have a little bit of fun? Rearrange the CORE. Set up traps, send out mercenaries. Make this truly a spectacle for all to behold! Maybe teach dear doctor Alphys a lesson in humility, eh? Oh, but when they pressed his SWITCH-

_OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!_

Lights! Cameras! Bombs! Romance, drama, and now... bloodshed! Scare away the little human, that ought to show the world just who is the star here! But boy, did they have some moves! Even knowing to take aim at his heart, his soul... Alphys had outed his weaknesses to the human. That... she...! He was feeling truly spiteful. What kind of a friend DOES this, to garner the attention of another?! He was going all out, even after his arms had been blown off. But, hah! Who needs arms when you've got legs like THESE?! Truly his most favorite part of his body. He had never had legs as Hapstablook. He could make stubby arms, but legs..!

Then, the child presented a key. THE key. Mettaton huffed and ignored it. He was not that person (ghost?) anymore. He twirled and danced and kicked until he could kick no more. Literally. His legs had been blown off, too. 

"Hah... hah..." He panted, glaring down at the child. They looked....

...apologetic.

"WELL, THEN!" His eyes wandered to the ratings. "OOH, LOOK AT THESE RATINGS! THIS IS THE MOST VIEWERS I'VE EVER HAD!!! WE'VE REACHED THE VIEWER CALL-IN MILESTONE! ONE LUCKY VIEWER WILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO TALK TO ME..." But, by gosh, they were still the most adorable thing he'd ever laid eyes on. And to think, that human had made him more popular than EVER in these last few days of chasing them around. It was a dream come true! "...BEFORE I LEAVE THE UNDERGROUND FOREVER!!! LET'S SEE WHO CALLS IN FIRST! HI, YOU'RE ON TV. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ON THIS, OUR LAST SHOW??" His last show. He had, on a whim, decided to give up. What good is he, if a child can show up and best him?

".....oh............." Wh..what? His face fell from his charismatic smile to a small frown. Was... "Hi..... Mettaton......... I really liked watching your show... my life is pretty boring... but... seeing you on the screen... brought excitement to my life... vicariously... I can't tell, but... I guess this is the last episode...?" ...this Blookie? Oh god. No... Blookie, precious Napstablook... His face fell even further, into one of despair. "I'll miss you...Mettaton........" Mettaton was incredibly thankful in this moment that there had not been tear ducts installed in his body. "...oh.... I didn't mean to talk so long...oh........" His eyes popped open. No no no don't hang up- 

 _click_.

"NO, WAIT! WAIT, BL... H... THEY ALREADY HUNG UP." Oh boy did he feel like a total jerk now. "...I'LL TAKE ANOTHER CALLER." Distract myself, he thought. But truly, it didn't matter what any of the other callers said. The fact that Napstablook had even called in said just so much to him. Napstablook wasn't the type to do that... or anything, really. But god, did they try. They tried so hard for themselves and to keep going despite being all alone in the world...

...so why shouldn't Mettaton?

* * *

 

"I haven't been a very good friend, have I, Alphys?" His voice was quiet, down at a much lower volume than normal. Usually he had it on at full, to showcase his true glamour.

"Mm, no, not really," she said bluntly. She adjusted a few more screws, tossing aside the screwdriver.

"...hmh. I'm... sorry, Alphys. I should be more appreciative of you. You... you work so hard and you've done so much for me.... can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Pff, I already have, dummy." She snorted, clicking the arm in place. "There we are! You're all fixed up."

"I can't thank you enough!" He threw himself around her in a tight squeeze. She coughed a bit, choking from the tightness. As quick as he latched on, he let go, but kept his hands on her shoulders. "I have to go do something. You go join your friends, okay, darling?" She nodded. He started his way out of the lab, but before exiting, he shouted up to her: "Oh, and Alphys? I love you!"

"Hah! I love you too, Metta!" He could hear the grin in her voice. And off he went.

* * *

 

"NAPSTABLOOK, DARLING, ARE YOU HERE?" He slammed the door open to their home. They lurched away from their spot hovering in front of the computer. "OH, DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU, SWEETHEART, BUT DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?"

"y-y-yeah! j....can you wait outside for a sec...? this is kinda top secret....." They moved their body to cover up the screen.

"WHY YES, OF COURSE!" He spun around and strode on out, heels clacking on the hard granite ground. While he waited, a flash of white blinded him.

 _"Their name is Frisk._ "

Somehow, he knew who the voice was talking about. It was over in a mere instant. The flash left Mettaton with a feeling of comfort. Of hopes and dreams and love. And all was well.


End file.
